“You don’t remember your name, servant?” Johann said. I
frowned, his words cutting. “Others remember you. I know it.”
I jerked my
head up, meeting his eyes. “Tell me,” I snapped.
“No,” he
said, and I stepped forward.
“Tell me!”
Something filled me, a need that for once had nothing to do with hunger for
blood. Memories of the cat and the old woman wouldn’t leave my head, and there
was more, blocked by a haze of alcohol and the image of my master in the alley.
“You are
not human any longer,” Johann said. “Chasing human memories will only hurt
you.”
“Then why
did you ask me my name?” I growled.
“Because
there is a way for you to get them back. To reclaim who you were, in a way.”
I backed
up, lifting my head as though he had slapped me.
“Why are
you telling me this?” I growled. “Why would I want that?” The memories began to
fade, as they always did, in a haze of indifference, but this time they left
edges behind. I should have tried to kill him, back with the others. I probably
would have died. Why had I even cared then?
“Maybe you
don’t.” He shrugged, turning to leave. “But if you do, come find me. You have
my scent now. If you want something more than to die a mindless, blood crazed
servant, that is.”
I blinked.
“You think you can just go, and I’ll let you?”
“If you
kill me, you’ll never know.”
“I could
bring you to my master.”
“And he’d
kill me.” He began walking away, leaving me alone with only the deer I had
killed for company. “It’s your choice, servant. Probably the most important one
of your short afterlife.”
I could
have chased after him. I could overpower him, force him to reveal whatever he
knew.
My name.
Who I had been. Who I was.
Instead, I
stayed put, until the moon shone directly overhead. I waited for the apathy to
return, subsumed by the return of the hunger.
The hunger
returned, but the apathy didn’t.
***
I hadn’t
been to the village since my master had turned me.
The night
had turned cold, the cold that permeated the air just before the morning began.
I shouldn’t be here, darting through the trees close the to the village
borders, just over the river that separated me from them, the bridge mere yards
away. The sun would be up soon.
The village
of Penthorn blended in with the woods, the houses made of the same pale bark.
No fires burned in the town square. Winding alleys radiated from the bell in
the center of town, framed by thatched houses that looked small and cramped
from my spot in the tree above the river. The houses were dim, silent, the only
sound the quiet clucking of chickens in the front yard of one of them. Beyond
the houses, fields stretched into the distance, and small dots marked sheep
that grazed overnight.
It was familiar. The bell had
marked every morning and evening, and even now I could hear the sound every
night, wafting even to the castle. No one slept in the alley I had once lain
in, though I may just not be able to see them in the various twists and turns.
Part of me wanted to enter, immerse
myself in a life I had once but could not remember.
I also
wanted the blood. Hunting in the middle of a village, surrounded by the beating
hearts and scents of living people, would be torturous bliss until I sank my
fangs into one of them. Then it would be bliss. I licked my lips, the deer
forgotten.
As I
watched, a light flickered to life in the window of one of the houses. I leaned
forward in the tree, straining to see.
The light
traveled, and I realized it was a candle, held by someone inside the house. The
window dimmed, and then the front door swung open.
“Out you
go, Whisk,” a reedy voice spoke. “Out, out. Go and hunt.”
That voice
struck me hard.
“Hey, you boy,” a woman said. She was blurry
in my vision, and I stumbled when I tried to stand. “You can’t sleep here. It’s
too cold.”
“I’m fine.”
“No. I’ve seen you. You want to
freeze to death? Follow me. Sleep on the floor, but I won’t have you sleeping
outside in this weather. You’ll catch your death.” Matilda turned on her heel,
and like a child, not a twenty-year-old man, I followed.
Her house had been warm, and upon
laying down on her couch I was asleep in minutes. Her cat had slept on my
stomach. I had left in the morning before she woke, my head pounding.
I blinked, the memory and
sensations of warmth and something deeper fading. This time, though, they left
something behind. A hollowness, that had nothing to do with hunger for blood. I
watched, unmoving, as the door closed, and Matilda’s cat prowled away into the
night, its ears twitching for the sound of rapid heartbeats and tiny feet.
The sound
of wheels on wood made me turn.
“You chose
to be turned, didn’t you?” The hunter’s voice was loud in my ears after the
silence of the river and the village.